


And They Breathed

by IntrovertedHappiness



Series: my reflection's so much clearer (when i'm not aware it's me) [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Murder, Panic, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, glamour springs, in the past but still murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 17:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20821151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedHappiness/pseuds/IntrovertedHappiness
Summary: After waking up, Taako decides to head to the bathroom to freshen up for the day. But it's never that simple when you're living with PTSD.





	And They Breathed

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE HEED THE WARNING ON THIS!! If you have anything you think I should add to the tags, please tell me. Otherwise, enjoy reading!!

For all their years apart, Taako and Lup still knew each other like the back of their own hand. Lup knew how to brush out Taako’s hair in the exact way he liked it- the way that he could never seem to do himself. Taako knew how to wake Lup up, even though she snapped at everyone else who tried. They were still brilliant together in the kitchen, making meals that would inspire and fill. They knew how to make each other feel better, how to annoy each other beyond belief. And they knew how to comfort each other, which was something they had found incredibly important over their 100-year trip and when they had found each other again.

But there were… new things to learn, as well. Like Taako’s ability to go for jogs on his own now- not that he hadn’t been able to do that before, but as their 100-year trip had wrapped up, they had been jogging together more and more frequently. Never letting each other out of sight. Even more so was Lup’s newfound touch starvation. She was always at someone’s side, never alone, never forgotten.

And for some reason, these new things? These new habits? They  _ scared _ Taako beyond belief. He would never let anyone know but seeing the way Lup did things now, the way she shifted and changed with every blink of his eyes… It was terrifying. Like looking at a ghost- a ghost you used to know so well and you still know  _ so well _ but… They’re not the same. Never the same.

It was morning. Taako found himself sleeping in, not bothered as the time moved by slowly, sleepily. His bed was empty, which wasn’t unusual because Kravitz had work most days. He should be coming back soon, though, because his break was in a bit. Taako was completely content with saying in bed, waiting for him, but the better part of himself knew he should get up. So he stood up, stretching a bit as he made his way to the bathroom.

One thing that hadn’t changed about Taako was the way he reacted to fear. Where Lup screamed, Taako was silent. He would get scared, of course, but he’d never say a word. And this is what happened when he opened the bathroom door and there was a  _ dead body _ on the floor. He stumbled back, hand going up to his mouth to keep any sounds from coming out.

The body was that of a Halfling woman’s. She was bent in a weird shape, head lolled back, blood dripping from her mouth. She looked all too familiar, which is when Taako realized that this halfling woman? This dead body on his bathroom floor? Was someone from the Glamour Springs show- one of the first to be affected by his food.

Taako dropped to his knees, shaking his head no. This couldn’t be real- He couldn’t- it wasn’t- There  _ couldn’t  _ be a dead body on his floor, especially not one from Glamour Springs. Yet, it was here. Real, bleeding, and in his bathroom. He felt sick to his stomach, scrambling backward, away from the corpse. Fuck-  _ fuck _ \- he had to leave, he had to leave right now. 

He stood on shaking legs, rushing towards the door. He tripped a few times on his way downstairs, almost tumbling down the steps, breathing short and heavy. He had to leave- they had to leave- where the  _ fuck _ was Sazed- fuck, fuck, that didn’t matter, he had to  _ leave _ -

That’s when he ran face-first into someone at the front door, screamed, and promptly landed on his behind. He scrambled away from the person- they were gonna kill him- they were gonna take him in- they were gonna do  _ something _ , fuck, fuck, fuck- 

“Taako?” Taako didn’t recognize the voice, didn’t want to look up to see if he knew the face. “Oh my god, Taako, are you okay-?”

“Get away!” Taako screeched, his back up against something soft and plush that he didn’t recognize. “Get the fuck away from me right now!” He patted himself down, searching for his wand- where was his wand, where was his wand- shit, he must have left it with the bodies-

“Taako, I’m gonna call Lup, okay? You’re gonna be okay- Breath for me, okay?”

Taako found himself breathing deeply with the stranger's instructions. He heard the click of someone answering their phone of farspeech, heard the stranger talking about him to someone else. He curled up in on himself, trying to breathe, to breathe, to breathe-

_ Forty people- forty people at the show- more than half, probably  _ ** _all_ ** _ dead- _

“Taako-”

_ Dead, dead, forty people dead at his hands-  _

“Taako!”

And his head snapped up, finally locking eyes with the stranger- wait, no, he knew them- he knew-

“Krav?” Taako croaked, his voice sounding wrecked and panicked. “Krav, what are you  _ doing _ here?”

“I live here,” Kravitz said, looking concerned. “We live together, remember?”

“I-”

But Taako couldn’t finish his sentence. A rift had opened up besides Kravitz and out stepped someone else familiar- He couldn’t place the name, couldn’t place the name, couldn’t place the name- the name- the name-

“Taako?” They said, taking a step forward. Taako tried to scoot back, eyes wide as he realized he was still against the soft wall. “Hey, babe, it’s okay. It’s just me, just Lup.”

_ Lup _ , Taako thought, a wave of relief rushing over him. Kravitz and Lup- people who cared- who wouldn’t kill him for what he had done. He needed to breathe, needed to relax. Taako closed his eyes, sighing, as some of the tension slipping from his body and pooling around his feet. He twitched, opening his eyes. Kravitz and Lup were still there, and he suddenly felt extremely guilty for worrying them so much…

“I’m sorry,” Taako breathed, leaning his head to rest on the soft wall- what he now recognized as his couch. “I didn’t mean to- wasn’t thinking-”

“It’s alright,” Kravitz said. “I- can I hug you?”

Taako nodded briefly and Kravitz enveloped him in a hug. The cold feeling of Kravitz’s hands on his back made him sigh, sinking into the hug, suddenly exhausted despite having just gotten up. What had even happened-

Oh. Right. The body in the bathroom.

“Krav,” Taako murmured in his broken voice. “I… Can someone check the bathroom?”

“For what, dear?” Kravitz asked, pulling back a bit from the hug.

“I uh-” Taako squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see Kravitz’s reaction. “A body.”

He felt Kravitz tense slightly and Taako’s insides cringed, tears leaking from his eyes.

“Of course we’ll check,” Kravitz said. “If Lup goes, do you think you can talk to me about what happened?”

Taako shrugged, and Kravitz seemed to accept that. He motioned for Lup to go check the upstairs bathroom and then asked if Taako could stand. Considering how much his legs- no, his whole body was shaking, Taako shook his head no. Then, after asking for permission, Kravitz scooped him up in his arms and settled on the couch, letting Taako lean on him for support.

“I don’t know what happened,” Taako said shakily. “I just- I was gonna go to the bathroom and there was a body-”

“I think you might have been hallucinating a bit, babe.” Lup was back, coming down the stairs to sit with them. “There’s nothing in the bathroom, no evidence of anything at all.”

“Oh,” Taako said numbly.

“Yeah,” Lup said, sitting on his other side. He leaned towards her and she held his hand, stroking her thumb across his knuckles. “Was this the first time?”

“I don’t know,” Taako said honestly and a bit shook up. “I… I never freaked out that bad if I did have others…”

“Hey,” Kravitz said, resting a hand on Taako’s knee. “You’re allowed to react however you want to with things like this. You’re allowed to “freak out” or whatever. You’re not insane, you’re not crazy, you’re just dealing with your emotions the best way you know how.”

“Okay,” Taako said, breathing deeply.

“And you don’t owe us an explanation either,” Lup added.

“I know,” Taako said.

And they sat, Taako leaning on Lup, Kravitz rubbing his back comfortingly. And they stayed. And they breathed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! My tumblr is @ magnus-and-his-doggos if you wanna request anything!! Comments are greatly appreciated :D!


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